IntrepidWoman's Journey

A Silver Christmas

Posted on: December 28, 2011

No snow, a lingering cold for 5 weeks with laryngitis for the last two, very little energy to shop, and yet, I just had one of the nicest Christmases I can remember.

For as long as I can recall, I have felt a sadness at Christmas time. I never told anyone, just walked the walk and worked my way through the season. This year, as I drove back home from the mountains, late on Christmas evening, I realized the sadness had not reared its tiresome head this year.

Every year, it wrapped around me and I pushed through the season, dragging it along through all the fun and festivities. This year I was sick, exhausted from work, but felt very at peace without a trace of sadness.

I think it is because 2011 was a banner year. I was recovering from a second cancer surgery, with the removal of my thyroid in Nov. 2010 and was totally insolvent financially because of my little building in Bellevue that just would not sell. By the first anniversary of the surgery, everything had come full circle and I was back on track.

My life was back in order and everything was under control again. I found my Christmas boxes that had been missing the previous year and enjoyed seeing all my sentimental items from the last 40 years of collecting. Two years ago I had purged three times more than I kept, going from 25 boxes down to 3 bins. I had also purged a living space of over 2000 square feet down to under 700. I had an accumulation of stuff from a very long time and through several different lifetimes as circumstances constantly changed over the years.

I think purging has a lot to do with the end of the sadness. As we go through our lives, carrying so much baggage, emotional and physical, it just wears us down. I worked my way through a lot of baggage in the last year.

This Christmas was perfect. Time spent with sons and their families, watching little ones enjoy the magic of the season, having a wonderful, family dinner in Chinatown on Christmas Eve and ‘wife-saver breakfast’ made lovingly by Lyndsey on Christmas morning, listening to Carmen playing carols on the piano and sons bantering back and forth.

After the morning excitement of kids, gifts and breakfast, I drove to the Pass to spend the day with my mom, who recently turned 85. She cooked a turkey dinner for the two of us and we had a great time talking about the past and the present. The trip home late at night saw very little traffic on the highway and a total sense of peace in my world.

This Christmas season has been rich in love and laughter and full of the magic of children. It could not have been more perfect, except for missing those who were not with us, like Dean, living in Hong Kong.

It may not have been a white Christmas, but it certainly was a silver one.


2 Responses to "A Silver Christmas"

This so spoke to me. I was having such sorrow at Christmas from different things. Then, my world fell out from under me the other day and this makes me feel so much better. Thanks.

People carry so many sorrows.Even those around them sometimes don’t even know. I wish you well and hope that you have a good support system of family or friends to help you through.

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