IntrepidWoman's Journey

In the Winter of My Life

Posted on: November 3, 2012

I am in the winter of my life. It came so quickly, too quickly it seems. When I look back at my childhood, then life as a single parent raising a family, and the autumn period when I was a free spirit with a horse, running a cafe in an old church and ‘finding myself’, I accept that every experience has melted together to create who I am today. A lot of the past feels like it happened to another person. A lot of the past fades into vagueness.

I do not have any regrets, not because I did everything in my life ‘right’, but because it is a waste of time to regret. Of course there are things I should have done and many that I should not have. I can wile away the hours by reminiscing and wondering what would have happened if I had taken a different turn in the road at the many junctions in my life. That is actually a fun thing to do, as long as a person does not get sad from these contemplations. It is not something to do more than once and it certainly can be replaced by better activities like a nap or entering a book.

It is done now. I always learned something of value from every decision, good and bad that I made in the past.

I cannot change anything in the past and I cannot totally predict the future, so I am only able to happily enjoy the present. The winter of one’s life has really only one downside – that it comes so quickly. Other than that, it is a wonderful time.

Did you ever ride in a car at night during a snowstorm when the snow was falling softly and the headlights lit up the flakes like a million twinkling stars? I remember that, when I was about 19 and in love. I remember the magic, and I had so much emotion about life and love and trying to control my path. It is a comfort to be old and realize that you have very little control, but what you do with life’s events is what counts.

In the winter of my life, I am enjoying each day, literally. I stop during the workday to think about what fun my job is, even though it can be stressful as well. I am trying not to get caught up in the “what ifs”. I see others do this and they create stress that is a waste of their time. I used to do that in my youth. So much time is wasted on ‘what ifs’ that never happen. Enough does happen that you will need your energy to deal with when it comes.

The winter of my life is still too busy at the moment, but it has more periods of stopping to enjoy the smell of rain, feel the cool breeze in the evening, enjoy the satisfaction of a good book or working with a soft wool and turning it into a warm scarf for a wee grandchild.

I hope the winter of my life is long, but there are no guarantees, which is why it is so important to feel each day and don’t leave it until the clock says you must. I am learning to live in the moment, in the winter of my life.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Historically Speaking

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 46 other followers

%d bloggers like this: